So, after being literally sick to my stomach after thinking, reading, and writing about the whole controversy brought up after President Packer's talk, a friend posted this link on Facebook:
http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/church-mormon-responds-to-human-rights-campaign-petition-same-sex-attraction
It is a link to an article featuring a statement made by a spokesman of the Church. After reading it, I finally felt a sense of peace. I feel like this statement addresses what was not made explicit to all in President Packer's talk. What a perfect response.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Follow the Prophet.
Last Sunday as I sat in my bed listening to General Conference, I was a little put off by one particular talk. I felt somewhat bad for not agreeing with a major church leader, but even after conference was convened, I couldn't help but continue to think about the issue. If I was deeply bothered by a talk whose message was aimed at those "struggling with same sex attraction," (not being one of those people myself), I could only imagine what several people around the world listening to Boyd K. Packer's address were thinking.
Obviously, I was not the only one moved by this. I have heard a lot of debate about the issue in school, through facebook, on people's personal blogs, and in online news articles (which also feature readers' responses). After reading/listening to a lot of the debate, I am deeply saddened by the fact that a lot of people don't truly understand what the REAL issue is, here.
When I first listened to President Packer's words last Sunday, the message I heard was:
-Homosexuality is not just a sin, but it (and those who live the lifestyle) are EVIL
(Quote from President Packer's talk, while he was speaking about gay marriage: "To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.")
While President Packer didn't explicitly say that "gay people are evil," he sure did NOT make clear that as LDS people, we should always remember to hate the sin, and love the sinner. I think adding this crucial point on the issue would have really disarmed a lot of the negative response that is coming out as a result of his talk. I think that contrary to what a lot of what people are saying (i.e. that people are looking to be offended and will always find offense), this message was delivered in a way that facilitated hurt and offended feelings, which might have been dispelled had the point been delivered in a more sensitive way.
Another message that I, personally got from President Packer's talk was:
-Those of you who are GLBTQ, you must come from the SATAN because God doesn't make you that way. Why would he do such a thing?!
(Here is a quote from the printed version of the talk with MAJOR edits in brackets (the church posted the edited version in print on its website)- "Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn [tendencies] toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! [Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone? Remember he is our father].”)
This line of his talk kept repeating in my head over and over... To me this sounds like pure, condescending condemnation. I obviously was not alone in my reaction to President Packer's talk. Here was a reader response to a (fruitless and silly) article the Deseret News printed:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700072199/A-call-for-civility-following-Mormon-Apostle-Boyd-K-Packers-address.html?pg=2
"I am a temple-attending LDS member. I believe the problem was not in what was said, but in the "message" that was felt. Being a thoughtful and compassionate person, I have long pondered the challenge of homosexuality. It is clear that homosexuality is not something that people choose - and it is clear that it is a permanent condition for most. It also appears to be increasing in frequency. It seemed to me that over the past several years, the church was beginning to acknowledge these truths, and that was comforting because I am confident once we accept truth, we will see that the next step is prayerful seeking to learn what is the right way to address the challenge so that our beautiful, cherished sons and daughters of God who are homosexual can live lives of fulfillment and peace among us, and not be cast out, which is clearly contrary to the first and second great commandments. I believe that when we collectively, with our leaders, pray earnestly for revelation regarding how to view this telestial condition, and how to accept it as a telestial condition, the Lord will direct us and it will be lovingly resolved."
I copy this here, because I could not put my opinion more perfectly into words. Below is another reader response that I liked:
Because I come with a much more liberal view of the gay "issue" than do a lot of people in my church and community, I really enjoyed that this reader pointed out the importance of understanding the direction from which some of those opposed to President Packer's talk come from. Not everyone believes what we do about homosexuality. I think that in order to be true Christ-like Latter Day Saints, we MUST learn to accept all of God's children and love them for who they are and what they believe; I think it is extremely hypocritical of us to withhold our love and save it only for those who are exactly like us and believe and practice the same things we do. I believe that we need to develop enough love and respect to acknowledge and accept (I'm not saying we need to AGREE with) the other side of the story. After reading through the responses of those from both sides of the debate about this controversial talk, one thing I have been really frustrated by is the large amount of ignorance that is coming from what I'm sure are well-meaning members of the church. I think the key thing they lack is a true understanding of how the message from Boyd K. Packer could and DID come across to others with differing viewpoints.
The following quote is another reader response from that same article:
This quote really illustrates one of my biggest fears. I think that so many people in the LDS church are so narrow minded that they reject not just the concept of homosexuality, but homosexual individuals who are children of God. I know I have heard a large amount homophobic bull crap from people within the church in my lifetime. For our members to be more Christ-like, I believe that this negative rhetoric about homosexual people NEEDS TO STOP. I fear that talks such as President Packer's serve to justify some members of the church to openly discriminate, hate, and condemn gay people which I believe leads us in the opposite direction of one of the basic commandments given to us by the Savior himself:
John 13:34-35
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another"
I believe the commandment to love one another, as found in this scripture is perhaps that greatest and most commandment we have ever received. I pray that as a people we learn to truly live by it and grow to understand, appreciate, accept and love those with different sexual orientations and opinions. I hope that someday more members of the church will open up their minds and their hearts to at least SEE the other side of the story and not turn a blind eye to a reality that many others in our world live in.
P.S. For clarification purposes, in my sentence before the quote from John, I am NOT trying to say that President Packer is causing members to be hateful towards gay people. I am NOT saying that anywhere has HE or other church leaders professed or condoned hate or violence towards those who are homosexual. However, because we are a church of non-perfect people, unfortunately, this is a response that I have personally witnessed in the past, and I think that self-righteous Mormons everywhere will use this article to condone themselves in (if only subtle) hateful responses toward gay people.
Obviously, I was not the only one moved by this. I have heard a lot of debate about the issue in school, through facebook, on people's personal blogs, and in online news articles (which also feature readers' responses). After reading/listening to a lot of the debate, I am deeply saddened by the fact that a lot of people don't truly understand what the REAL issue is, here.
When I first listened to President Packer's words last Sunday, the message I heard was:
-Homosexuality is not just a sin, but it (and those who live the lifestyle) are EVIL
(Quote from President Packer's talk, while he was speaking about gay marriage: "To legalize that which is basically wrong or evil will not prevent the pain and penalties that will follow as surely as night follows day.")
While President Packer didn't explicitly say that "gay people are evil," he sure did NOT make clear that as LDS people, we should always remember to hate the sin, and love the sinner. I think adding this crucial point on the issue would have really disarmed a lot of the negative response that is coming out as a result of his talk. I think that contrary to what a lot of what people are saying (i.e. that people are looking to be offended and will always find offense), this message was delivered in a way that facilitated hurt and offended feelings, which might have been dispelled had the point been delivered in a more sensitive way.
Another message that I, personally got from President Packer's talk was:
-Those of you who are GLBTQ, you must come from the SATAN because God doesn't make you that way. Why would he do such a thing?!
(Here is a quote from the printed version of the talk with MAJOR edits in brackets (the church posted the edited version in print on its website)- "Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn [tendencies] toward the impure and unnatural. Not so! [Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone? Remember he is our father].”)
This line of his talk kept repeating in my head over and over... To me this sounds like pure, condescending condemnation. I obviously was not alone in my reaction to President Packer's talk. Here was a reader response to a (fruitless and silly) article the Deseret News printed:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700072199/A-call-for-civility-following-Mormon-Apostle-Boyd-K-Packers-address.html?pg=2
"I am a temple-attending LDS member. I believe the problem was not in what was said, but in the "message" that was felt. Being a thoughtful and compassionate person, I have long pondered the challenge of homosexuality. It is clear that homosexuality is not something that people choose - and it is clear that it is a permanent condition for most. It also appears to be increasing in frequency. It seemed to me that over the past several years, the church was beginning to acknowledge these truths, and that was comforting because I am confident once we accept truth, we will see that the next step is prayerful seeking to learn what is the right way to address the challenge so that our beautiful, cherished sons and daughters of God who are homosexual can live lives of fulfillment and peace among us, and not be cast out, which is clearly contrary to the first and second great commandments. I believe that when we collectively, with our leaders, pray earnestly for revelation regarding how to view this telestial condition, and how to accept it as a telestial condition, the Lord will direct us and it will be lovingly resolved."
I copy this here, because I could not put my opinion more perfectly into words. Below is another reader response that I liked:
"I admire the DN [Deseret News] for urging civility. However, despite being a positive step, I don’t imagine this editorial will get us very far. Since civility requires understanding, let me point, without even stepping toward Prop. 8 territory, to a few things I’m guessing the LGBT community wants us Mormons to understand better.
1) Why Elder Packer’s talk provoked an outcry. Regardless of his 2010 intent, many people interpreted it in light of much institutional and individual history.
2) Words matter. “Struggle with same gender attraction” for LGBT ears is somewhat akin (I’m not saying equivalent) to what “hateful doctrine” is for Mormon ears.
3) Expressions of love and concern can easily seem patronizing.
4) Assuming the church is not still asking homosexual people to change to heterosexual, it is asking them to essentially become asexual. If we are comparing homosexuality to alcoholism, do we really understand the depth of this request?
5) Many rank-and-file Mormons have profound homophobia and feel our church condones those attitudes. Civility is our problem too.
I too hope for a more civil conversation with the LGBT community, but without understanding these viewpoints, we may not get it."
1) Why Elder Packer’s talk provoked an outcry. Regardless of his 2010 intent, many people interpreted it in light of much institutional and individual history.
2) Words matter. “Struggle with same gender attraction” for LGBT ears is somewhat akin (I’m not saying equivalent) to what “hateful doctrine” is for Mormon ears.
3) Expressions of love and concern can easily seem patronizing.
4) Assuming the church is not still asking homosexual people to change to heterosexual, it is asking them to essentially become asexual. If we are comparing homosexuality to alcoholism, do we really understand the depth of this request?
5) Many rank-and-file Mormons have profound homophobia and feel our church condones those attitudes. Civility is our problem too.
I too hope for a more civil conversation with the LGBT community, but without understanding these viewpoints, we may not get it."
Because I come with a much more liberal view of the gay "issue" than do a lot of people in my church and community, I really enjoyed that this reader pointed out the importance of understanding the direction from which some of those opposed to President Packer's talk come from. Not everyone believes what we do about homosexuality. I think that in order to be true Christ-like Latter Day Saints, we MUST learn to accept all of God's children and love them for who they are and what they believe; I think it is extremely hypocritical of us to withhold our love and save it only for those who are exactly like us and believe and practice the same things we do. I believe that we need to develop enough love and respect to acknowledge and accept (I'm not saying we need to AGREE with) the other side of the story. After reading through the responses of those from both sides of the debate about this controversial talk, one thing I have been really frustrated by is the large amount of ignorance that is coming from what I'm sure are well-meaning members of the church. I think the key thing they lack is a true understanding of how the message from Boyd K. Packer could and DID come across to others with differing viewpoints.
The following quote is another reader response from that same article:
"When you say their lifestyle is an abomination to God, you're not going to treat them as equals. You are going to treat them as someone with a problem. What do you think that does to someones self-esteem? As long as you claim that you know God disapproves of their lifestyle, you are going to have trouble treating them as equals. Can you really be surprised when you depict someones lifestyle as an abomination and they react in protest?"
This quote really illustrates one of my biggest fears. I think that so many people in the LDS church are so narrow minded that they reject not just the concept of homosexuality, but homosexual individuals who are children of God. I know I have heard a large amount homophobic bull crap from people within the church in my lifetime. For our members to be more Christ-like, I believe that this negative rhetoric about homosexual people NEEDS TO STOP. I fear that talks such as President Packer's serve to justify some members of the church to openly discriminate, hate, and condemn gay people which I believe leads us in the opposite direction of one of the basic commandments given to us by the Savior himself:
John 13:34-35
"A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another"
I believe the commandment to love one another, as found in this scripture is perhaps that greatest and most commandment we have ever received. I pray that as a people we learn to truly live by it and grow to understand, appreciate, accept and love those with different sexual orientations and opinions. I hope that someday more members of the church will open up their minds and their hearts to at least SEE the other side of the story and not turn a blind eye to a reality that many others in our world live in.
P.S. For clarification purposes, in my sentence before the quote from John, I am NOT trying to say that President Packer is causing members to be hateful towards gay people. I am NOT saying that anywhere has HE or other church leaders professed or condoned hate or violence towards those who are homosexual. However, because we are a church of non-perfect people, unfortunately, this is a response that I have personally witnessed in the past, and I think that self-righteous Mormons everywhere will use this article to condone themselves in (if only subtle) hateful responses toward gay people.
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