The oppression of women through pantyhose.

Yes, this story is about pantyhose. (Which, ironically, is one of my least favorite words in the entire English language. Ha. Go figure.)

It all started a few weeks ago. For my Master's program, I am required to complete two internships. I have been looking forward to this experience since I decided that I wanted to do social work, and I have been particularly excited about the idea of working with birthmothers and the adoption process. Thus, you will understand that it was to my dismay when I received word that LDS Family Services was the only agency I would have to choose from with the hope of getting any exposure to adoption. To say I was disappointed at this realization is a HUGE understatement.

You see, in a lot of our classes, professors have made reference to the fact that all of us want to work with LDS Family Services and the reality is that most of us won't be able to. I was a bit annoyed by this generalizing statement and I resented my teacher for assuming that everyone idolizes LDS Family Services. To be quite honest, I don't want to be stuck working with LDS people all day every day. In fact, I want quite the opposite. So, at first I was miffed at all the assumptions going on, but I didn't care too much because I thought, "It's cool, if everyone wants the typical LDS job and are fighting over that, it will just make me all the more marketable for more interesting internships."  Boy was I wrong. With my recent revelation about the non-availability of any other adoption internships, LDS Family Services moved from last to first place on my internship preference list. That is, until..............

.............I found out about the pantyhose. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, pantyhose. I thought those things were old news. I thought that they went out of style with my dead grandmother, but apparently (at least at LDS Family Services) you aren't considered a professional unless you have them. Rumors were flying across the room that LDS Family Services won't even consider you if you don't wear a skirt and pantyhose to the interview. I think the exact words that came out of my mouth were, "Are you f-ing kidding me?!" But sadly, they weren't.

I was pissed off! A skirt, I could maybe handle. Personally, I think dress pants are way more professional, but if they are going to be uptight about it, I could deal with the skirt thing for one day. But pantyhose?! Really, people?! I haven't been able to stop thinking about this all freaking week. (Seriously, when you get me worked up about something, there is no turning back!) I just can't get over the fact that refusing to hire an female intern, just because she doesn't wear pantyhose is bull shit. It's nothing less than sexists discrimination! Require all the men applying to wear pantyhose, and then I'll consider it!

I didn't think anything could get any worse (silly me for being ignorant!), but alas, it did. I found out that not only would I have to wear a skirt and pantyhose to the interview, but if I were chosen to intern for LDS Family Services, I would be required to wear that EVERY FREAKING DAY. Seriously. Talk was that their dress code mandates that you dress like brother and sister missionaries. If I wanted to dress like a freaking missionary, I would go on a freaking mission, people!

The rest of this week I have spent a great deal of time hosting a debate in my head (which is rather noisy and distracting, let me tell you). Do I find it worth it to give in to this sexist requirement because I'll be doing work I love? Or do I just say "screw it" and wear what I want to the interview not holding on to high hopes of getting hired, but also not giving up my self-respect in the process?

The whole thing is still up for debate, but the more I think about the pantyhose, the more my blood boils. Literally. I think I have popped a few blood vessels in my head because my face has been red hot all day. Ha.

I keep thinking to myself, things are SO much easier for men. For ANY interview, men know that to get taken seriously they better wear a suit and tie (or pretty dang close to it). But, for women, our wardrobe is wide open for interpretation. There is no "gold standard" like suit and tie, but just an overall understanding that you must look professional (this can be done through nice slacks and a fancy blouse, a dress suit, a pant suit, etc.). From the outside, you might say that it's nice that women have so many alternatives and that they aren't limited to one option. But, let me tell you, it's not. People in charge of hiring will have their own personal preferences for what a woman should wear to an interview, and will judge based on their own standards, which may not be the same as the interviewee.

Until now I didn't really see that this as a big problem. I haven't had trouble getting hired on anywhere, and I don't think I have ever worn a skirt to an interview. Up to this point, I thought that nice slacks really were the "gold standard" for professional dress. After all, we live in modern times, people! I thought we made the decision a long time ago that it's OK for women to wear pants! Well, boy, I guess I was wrong. It makes me gag that an agency is so oldschool and traditional/conservative/orthodox that they would have a sexist practice discriminating against women based on a fashion choice. Talk about super-freaking-ficial.

And I don't think I'm going to give in and do it! Why? In the words of Lorelai  Gilmore, "because I'm not orthodox. I'm liberal with a touch of reform and a smidgen of zipidee pow!" I say STICK IT TO THE MAN.  And I'm sure it was definitely a man's idea to oppress women through pantyhose.

It sure didn't help that today we had a lecture about sexism and all the ways women are discriminated against in the workplace, in education, etc. That has just got me going even more. I keep thinking about how mad it makes me when women contribute to the oppression of other women. These are the women who say, "Oh, we have all the rights we need. We can't complain. We really do just want to be mothers, anyway... " Or, "Why do you want a career? Everyone knows we should stay at home with the kids..." BLAH BLAH BLAH. These are the women who won't question or stand up for themselves. They conform to the ridiculous gender roles they are fed by society, and nothing pisses me off more! If we are divided as women, how can we even think to target and change sexist and discriminative practices such as mandating the wearing of pantyhose?! We can't!

Then tonight one of my fellow classmates (a second year, no less) tried to talk me into why it was GOOD to wear pantyhose, and when I told her that I never wore pantyhose EVER, she made the comment, "Well, dang you must be lucky and have beautiful skin. I love pantyhose 'cuz it's a great cover up..." SERIOUSLY? Why are we, as women, so set on "covering up"??!!! We get enough freaking crap in the media about how we need to be super skinny, change our hair and wear all this make up, and BLAH BLAH BLAH. I don't need to hear that from a fellow woman! Seriously! If we don't fight this ridiculous male dominated society together, women everywhere will be left to suffer. Let's nip this shit in the bud, hell let's set it on FIRE! I don't want my future daughters submitted to this B.S.!

Well. There you have it. My raw, unadulterated vomit of emotions at the present moment. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Peace.

A poem about grad school.

There once was a grad student, Savannah.
She was definitely not from Alabama.
When her lit review was due,
she merely said, "poo poo"
and just sat around in her pajamas.