'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, we ran around naked and sat on a mouse.
The Christmas tree was old and falling apart, and my grandpa sitting by the fire, was acting like a fart.
The children were all down watching t.v., but I really needed to take a pee.
I ran in the bathroom, and to my delight, I saw a fresh roll of toilet paper, my first joy tonight!
Then I heard a big noise coming from the kitchen, I ran to the room and saw Santa's reindeer Blitzen!
He scared me to death, so I ran and screamed; this was not at all the night I had dreamed.
I ran to my wife and told her what I'd seen; she didn't believe me, she thought I was nuts, it seemed.
But I knew what I'd seen and I wanted to prove, but when I took her to the kitchen, that reindeer Blitzen had moved!
Gee, I was mad, lots of anger arising, I wanted to prove I was not hallucinating.
Gee whiz! I was mad, my anger arising, I threw a glass bowl, the results were quite frightening.
I ran to the window as my wife screamed, "Look at what you did, you ruined the beans!"
I felt terribly bad, but had no time to lose, I had to find that reindeer, no time to choose.
I ran out of the house and looked onto the roof, and what did I see, but that dumb reindeer... or was it a moose?
I guess I had been mistaken the whole time, that moose wasn't Blitzen, no way it was Dime.
I felt really stupid, I felt really dumb, cuz the whole time I thought that a reindeer had come.
It was just a mean neighboor playing a trick, and I thought it was a reindeer that belongs to St. Nick.
I went to my wife and told her the joke, she came outside, saw the moose and said, "You silly bloke!"
"You thought the whole time this was one of Santa's reindeer? You have a wild imagination" she said, "and I fear,"
"that you have need of some Christmas cheer."
So we went inside and had a drink, then we played a few games til I started to stink.
I was losing every game so I said, nodding my head, "I'm pretty dang tired, let's go to bed."
The end.
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