summer reading list.

One of my favorite childhood pastimes was spending the majority of my summers spread out on the grass, curled up on the deck swing, or hidden away in the branches of my tree with a good book. There's just something about reading that speaks to me.

These days I do most of my reading snuggled up in my bed. Regardless, I have to say that I always look forward to summertime so I  can catch up on all of the pleasure reading that I've missed out on during the school year. Here's what's in store for me during the upcoming months:

 And for some more "therapeutic" books:

Whew. And those are only the books that I've bought over the last several months. There are many more on my future reading list to keep me busy next summer.

On therapy.

I met myself at work tonight. It was seriously frightening to me how much of myself I saw in this particular client:

the feelings of discomfort and inadequacy when trying something new and "foreign,"
the second guessing of the self,
the inability to see one's own strengths and worth,
the stress from dealing with other people's problems all day knowing that yours are quietly simmering the background,
the past sacrifice out of love,
the profound and painful loss,
the people pleasing and wanting to "fix" things for everybody,
the fear,
the need for the "one" easy answer from someone else,
the need to run, to escape.

It was uncanny, really. I only met with her for a half an hour, but I feel like I know everything about her. In a way, I feel like I am her.

As drained as I am right now from staying late twice already this week (and knowing that I am going to have worked over 50 hours by Saturday), I feel a small glimmer of relief, perhaps some kind of "catharsis," when reflecting on this short "emergency" session.

I think the discussion we had was therapeutic for both of us. Even though neither of us knew it, I was actually "therapizing" myself just as much as I was her. Sometimes I think God gives me moments like these on purpose to teach me lessons I will only learn by teaching other people.

Curse him for that.

Bless him for that.


Well. I think that's about enough self-disclosure for tonight. Phew. But don't worry. I'll be back for some more "blog therapy" soon.

Peace out.

the scoop on savannah.

Things you might not know about me:

-I cry when I watch Extreme Home Makeover Home Edition.
-I absolutely hate cats.
-I'm secretly addicted to Jerseylicious and The Bad Girls Club.
-I don't want to have a big family, yet I want to adopt and love as many "broken" children from around the world as I can.
-I've always wanted to experience homelessness and living on the streets. I will some day jump on the back of a train and just ride it to wherever it takes me.
-Sometimes I wonder why I never developed an eating disorder.
-As much as I want to settle down and plant my roots, I worry that I will never be happy with what I have and my urge to "run away" will return.
-I once got pulled over for flipping off an undercover cop.
-I often wish I lived back in the time of hunter gatherer societies before everything became so complicated.
-I hate chocolate.
-One day I want to start my own "movement," "cause," or non-profit organization in my endeavor to change the world.
-I'm a pathological perfectionist.
-I feel most at home amongst "broken" people.
-I used to be obsessed with belts and had a sweet collection of them.
-I love filling out any kind of forms...applications, questionnaires, medical forms... etc.
-Some days I wonder if my constant feelings of inadequacy will lead to my demise.
-I'm obsessed with checking the mail.
-Sometimes I'd rather get lost in my relationship with characters in books than live in the "real world."
-I absolutely LOVE palm trees.
-Spongebob Squarepants is my homeboy.
-I'm a pack rat who is desperately trying to change her ways.
-I'm terrified of dying.
-The more I've learned about drugs, the more I want to use them.
-I often wonder if people are only as happy as they are pretending.
-I know more about cars than my husband.
-For some reason I feel the responsibility to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.