On therapy.

I met myself at work tonight. It was seriously frightening to me how much of myself I saw in this particular client:

the feelings of discomfort and inadequacy when trying something new and "foreign,"
the second guessing of the self,
the inability to see one's own strengths and worth,
the stress from dealing with other people's problems all day knowing that yours are quietly simmering the background,
the past sacrifice out of love,
the profound and painful loss,
the people pleasing and wanting to "fix" things for everybody,
the fear,
the need for the "one" easy answer from someone else,
the need to run, to escape.

It was uncanny, really. I only met with her for a half an hour, but I feel like I know everything about her. In a way, I feel like I am her.

As drained as I am right now from staying late twice already this week (and knowing that I am going to have worked over 50 hours by Saturday), I feel a small glimmer of relief, perhaps some kind of "catharsis," when reflecting on this short "emergency" session.

I think the discussion we had was therapeutic for both of us. Even though neither of us knew it, I was actually "therapizing" myself just as much as I was her. Sometimes I think God gives me moments like these on purpose to teach me lessons I will only learn by teaching other people.

Curse him for that.

Bless him for that.


Well. I think that's about enough self-disclosure for tonight. Phew. But don't worry. I'll be back for some more "blog therapy" soon.

Peace out.